i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
