So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
