somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
