a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
