Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
