my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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