I wish I could teleport
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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