How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
