Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
