he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
