shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
