Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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