I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize