I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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