Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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