i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
