I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize