I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
