Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
