can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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