Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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