Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
