guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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