saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
