4 words: hood of his car
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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