He told me they were just razor bumps!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Your cock deserves a montage
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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