is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
