belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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