I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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