So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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