a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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