Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
