Don't you send me to vm
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
