My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
