My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
