shes about as inviting as chlamydia
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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