I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
