my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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