when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
