You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
