Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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