I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
