i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize