I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
