I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
