dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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