Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
