He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
