So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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