I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
