Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
