were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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