Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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