what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize