4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
