Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
