so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
