had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
