VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
