I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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