can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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