drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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