its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
